jeffery druzba is dreamy

An Open Letter

Dear Any Company That Makes Any Baby-Related Item,

Please stop with the making me feel like an inadequate parent if I don’t buy or use your product. While I’m sure that you do make a nice pair of infant pants or that you do make one of the best electrical beepy toys around, I don’t appreciate your implying that somehow my baby daughter isn’t being afforded the “best chance at reaching her full potential” or insinuating that the greatest minds of the modern world would have been far greater had their parents gotten them a multicolored swirly flashy thing. I’m on to you and your ways and the last thing I need is you pushing your guilt issues on me.

Thanks!

PS: Is there anyway you can make everything in the world, I’m thinking more of your non-food type items, taste like Gerber Hawaiian Delight?

• February 28th, 2004
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