jeffery druzba is dreamy

Scooter

Of all the nicknames that people give to their babies, “Scooter” probably has to be my least favorite. “We named him Scooter because he scoots around!” Lady, who doesn’t scoot when you’re half a year old? Try a little harder. That’s like nicknaming your child “Babbles.”

There was a “Scooter” in the neighborhood when I was a kid. I think he was dirty. I don’t remember much more than that.

• April 20th, 2004
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