There was a time when, on any given stretch of road, you would surely find the remnants of a broken cassette tape, clumped together in parts to anchor the wispy tentacles of brown that stretched across the road. You might have seen the thinnest ribbons of brown clung to the tops of the grasses just off the shoulder of road where you walked. You just don’t see that anymore.

I always wondered why there were so many broken cassette tapes on sides of roads. One might think it due to accidental dropping out of windows or frustrated throwing when the tape may have mangled in a dirty car player. I prefer to think that most of those tapes, whether your Def Leppard Hysteria or a favorite mix tape from a former crush, just became incredibly worn and degraded, as cassette tapes are wont to do, from hour upon hour of repeated play and the only respectable way to end their useful lives was to set them free - to let them blow about, wild and drifting, as you felt when they were once captive in your car’s dashboard.

What’s the going price of lemonade in your town?

Apparently, the price, for somewhat economically depressed small towns of just a few thousand people in Maine is 50 cents a glass. 50 cents! Am I just out of touch with how much it costs to make and sell lemonade these days? I’m all for enterprising kids but 50 cents is a bit steep for something slightly more than a Dixie cup full of warm, watery lemonade.

These kids and their get-rich quick, anything less than $10/hour is a waste of my time, attitudes. If I had a bigger front lawn to stand on, I might be tempted to go out, stand on it, and shake my fist at the sky.

Did you hear about this? I shake my fist at the sky for stupid people too.

So, the Tart and I go to Funtown yesterday for our 2nd anniversary. Traditionally, the 2nd anniversary gift is cotton. Cotton? Textiles in their raw form as gifts? “Thank you so much for the bale of cotton, Eli! You’re the sweetest!” By modern standards, the 2nd anniversary requires China as a gift. Here is where I say that with China being 1 billion citizens strong, it’s getting a bit unaffordable. Really now, plateware, cotton, or Funtown? By the way, traditional and modern rules dictate that the 6th anniversary is deserving of candy or iron. Huh?

Anyway, we’re at Funtown and half of the workers for the rides and the vending are foreign and mostly from Bulgaria and Russian republics. Wasn’t there a time when jobs like these were considered nice, all-American jobs for summer employment? I would have loved to have a job like that. The Tart, from her camp counseling experience, says that most of the jobs like that are preferably given to foreigners because they are willing to work for much less than American teens. So what’s the problem here? Are summer employers guilty of being too greedy with their summer employment or are American teens, as a whole, refusing to work for reasonable wages because, for some reason, they expect more a whole lot more than minimum wage? Discuss.

I wasn’t thinking of socio-economic matters while Tart and I were actually at Funtown, though. Most of the day was similar to thoughts while atop the “Dragon’s Descent” or what you know as your standard freefall tower, “Oh god, no, I hate this, wheeeee, oh god oh god oh god, whoaaaaaa, this kicks ass, oh god oh god oh god!”

Two years later and I love her more than ever.

I-belle has one of those books that makes sound effects when you press the button in the corner. The single button plays various sounds when it is pressed over and over again but one of them, I swear to you, sounds exactly like the beginning of “Edge of Seventeen” by Stevie Nicks. And she presses it over and over every time so I am sure to get my Nicks fix for the day.

Speaking of a Nicks fix, if you visit that link or this one, you’ll be brought to the Nicks Fix Web site which is apparently the official Web site of all things Stevie. The high-res photo page does not disappoint. Would I lie to you?

That reminds me: I’ve always had this thing for Bernadette Peters. I think she and Stevie might be the same person. A young Stevie/Bernadette, with equal loves for both showtunes and Celtic mythology was probably forced to divide her time between two distinct careers in worlds that don’t have any reason mixing. Think about it: When was the last time you saw a star-studded concert bill that featured Stevie Nicks AND Bernadette Peters? I’ll answer for you: Never!

I need to read more books. It’s a problem that the only reading material I devote any attention to is the dorkalog of the day that came with the daily postal mail delivery. Any suggestions?