In the ’80’s, when I was growing up, you had posters of Lamborghinis or Tiffany or Bon Jovi or Poison (especially if your name is Amy on this one) on the walls of your bedroom. You did, didn’t you?

Not me, my Innanet friend. I had a thing - rather, I should say “had and continue to have a thing” - with highly informative posters on a variety of topics. Most of my childhood wall posters were National Geographic posters/maps. I had a large map of the world, a poster mapping out the discovered levels of Oak Island’s money pit, and, my personal favorite for years and years: a National Geographic map of the known universe that put things into perspective by starting with the immediate solar system and showing how that fit into the Milky Way and how that fit into the cluster of immediate galaxies that the Milky Way is a part of and so on for billions and billions of light years. Oh, and I guess I did have the occasional legitimate poster of kittens playing on books that was purchased through the Scholastic book fair. One of the only “normal” posters I remember having was on the back of my door: George Brett in mid-swing. I don’t really remember following the Royals, George Brett’s career, or baseball in general back then and I suspect it’s possible that my parents gave me that poster to help balance out what they saw as a clear leaning toward dorkdom. I imagine their hushed conversation, while retiring one night, went something like this:

“Carol, I’m a bit concerned about all the maps in Jeffery’s room.”
“Yeah, what the hell is with that?”
“On your way home tomorrow, I think you should stop at the store and pick up a poster of some baseball player.”
“Well, who should I get?”
“I don’t know. How about that George Brett? I hear he’s good.”

Anyway, I still have a thing for loads of information that is condensed into poster or nugget-like form. That explains my enjoyment of this. I’m also serious when I tell you, anonymous Innanet reader, that you could make me happy by dropping $4.25 on this for me. The question is: Who doesn’t want a wall poster that completely maps out the US Radio Frequency spectrum?

No, really, the question I have for you, reader, is this: Wouldn’t you love to see an episode of “Trading Spaces” where they completely wall panel someone’s room and put up posters of kittens? I think they should have a week where they act like the regular show but they call it “Trading Spaces (Just Kidding).” Imagine the terrified looks upon seeing one’s master bedroom converted to a Strawberry Shortcake theme.

Why can’t an average guy find an online gallery of company logos for existing non-household name freight, petroleum, and shipping companies (especially Canadian firms doing business in ports along the St. Lawrence Seaway) when he wants to?

At least, along my search, I found this gallery of TV station logos from all over the United States. By no means complete but, nevertheless, interesting.

I’d like to buy some of these for the daughter but I’d really just be buying them for myself.

Surely, I am not the only person in the world who finds Sarah Jessica Parker positively hideous. I’ve seen her look better in the past. I think she somehow managed to increase unattractiveness in direct proportion to her growing popularity.

And you’ve seen those GAP ads with Lenny Kravitz by now. The ones where she’s “rockin’ out” in GAP-wear while Lenny plays a song that sounds exactly like every other song he’s done. Ugh!

In all honesty, SJP reminds me of Cher. And please tell me that only the GAP site is calling her that and that referring to her by her initials is not some nationwide trend.

Dear Ensure:
No amount of marketing and advertising dollars is going to convince me that your nutritional beverage is something I should be drinking as part of my daily routine. I know damn well what’s on the menu at the nursing home and I’m not drinking it until someone restrains me and makes me. Your trendy flavors and curvy bottle aren’t fooling this consumer. Maybe, just maybe, if you make your name less disposable-undergarmenty-sounding, I might be convinced to try a sip.

Screw your polls!

My count of vehicles with “Support Our Troops” ribbon magnets and decals indicates that we’ve got another 4 years of W on the way.

Walmart (damn your low prices through volume buying that keep me coming back!), has these red T-shirts with the same yellow ribbon “Support Our Troops” logo on the left chest area. I know YOU have no inclination toward that sort of thing but please tell that second cousin of yours, you know, the jackassy one, to please refrain.

On a related note: There’s just no excuse for any of this.

Can we just take all the states that border Canada and turn them into a country that’s like the best of the US and Canada in one? Kind of like their greatest hits. All of the freedoms of the US, the non-meddling attitude of Canadians, baseball as the national past-time in the summer, hockey in the winter, oh and poutine featured on every menu of any food establishment in all the land of Ameri-Cana.

If some future nameless candidate were to run against Tom DeLay in an election, I bet they would win if they made lots of signs that said “Vote For ____, Don’t DeLay” because, come on, that’s witty.