jeffery druzba is dreamy

It’s Because They’re Trying To Replace You

What is with this trend of kid toys announcing their every activity to the world?

What brilliant VTech product engineer decided that the electrical functioning of their toys should be governed by the same principles that govern the mind of a 3-year old? Compare for yourself:

3-year-old child: “I’m going potty now. Potty. Potty. Hey, I need to go potty now and now I’m washing my hands. I’m washing my hands now. I’m washing my hands because hands need to be clean…”

Wondro The Talking Electro-Toy: “Hey, I’m shutting off now! OK? I’m shutting off. Oh, I didn’t ask you… did you want me to shut off? Yes? OK, I’m really shutting off now! Goodbye until next time! Power… shutting… off… now… No… now! No… now!”

Yeah, you’ve got a few of these at home. You might as well be talking to another child.

You know it’s bad when you talk back to the thing. “OK, Wondro The Talking Electro-Toy, that’s enough chatter. OK, ok. Alright then. Yes, just go to sleep now. That’s plenty from you.”

• April 27th, 2007
• Raisin'
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