“I’ll Show You Warm”

We got this microwave a couple weeks back that, with its 1300 watts of heating power, I give voice to in my head whenever I heat something in it:

“Warm? I’ll show you warm.”
“Monsieur, your lava with chives.”
“Here, take your nugget or whatever it was before.”
“Your plateful of sun awaits. Ding!”

I imagine my microwave makes snarky comments.

Seriously though, 1300 watts heats up whatever you want in seconds. Isn’t living in 2008 just grand?